A Space of Comprehension
Creating Separation – Disidentifying from Thoughts
In the journaling and through my writings I am Getting to Know Myself. As soon as I transfer my inner experience into writing, things shifts and changes. A distance is emerging between “me” and “the thinking”, and new perspectives is arriving.
This creates a new dynamic which works to evolve the relationship between what I perceive as myself and the thoughts themselves.
Earlier in my life and at the beginning of this writing project I saw and referred to them as “my thoughts”. And in a way you can say that they are, in the sense that they are within and of my experience.
However, through this process, reaching its pinnacle in this moment as I am deconstructing and refining this writing about thoughts and thinking – Doing my best to be clear and precise not only to myself but to external eyes as well – I am less “my thoughts” than I was. And somehow connecting to that they are “my thoughts” only to the degree that I make them so. To the degree that I believe them to be. Thus, there is now a distinction between “me”, “the thoughts” and “the thinking”.
Experiencing that through the writing, I am somehow removing “myself” from the “thoughts” themselves. By this “stepping out from the bubble of thinking”, I am enabling myself to see from outside. And not being “inside”, I am not under its influence, but rather more like a neutral, external observer.
Not confusing myself with being the thoughts, getting consumed by the thinking, and lost in the world of thoughts – I am beginning to see, find, and in a different sense, Know Myself.
“In the act of placing the thoughts outside – I am placing myself outside as well.“
And as such, it becomes a process of disidentification. Of not identifying directly with the stories and narratives that are being told. Of not believing everything that runs through the inner monologue of mind. Leaving the automatic belief that the thoughts are me and that I am the actual thoughts.
And with that I am beginning to reclaim the potential of my life. To become a conscious participant and co-creator of my life. Leaving from being a victim who gives away its power to whatever wind which blows, to standing my ground, opening my eyes, and reclaiming my ability to decide.
“As before I was caught in the bubble, in the confusion not able to see. Caught in the wind of distractions, a victim to something unreal.
Now outside from a distance, seeing from a different light. The wind continues its movement, but I’m no longer a leaf that’s inside. Through this process of placing attention, the thoughts they transform and evolve.
What once was so real and defining, fading by conscious intent. The distance from illusion is growing, the force returns to its source. The power of conscious creation, aligns with the power of choice.”
The Process of Solidification
And so, through the Journaling, by transferring the thoughts onto paper, by the power of the written word, they are made solid.
“Solidifying thoughts into writing”, they materialize from being vague to distinct, from being hidden to seen, from air into earth.
When they are merely floating around in the illusive field of mind, somehow, they are working in the back-and-underground. More difficult to see, making their case silently in the periphery.
But now, on record and placed into conscious light, there they are, enabled to be seen. In front of my face, served on the plate. They can’t be denied or hide away.
The inner monologue, the story that is being played on the record of mind, the statement, idea, assumption, or belief, has been brought from the obscurity of the shadows into the exposure of light.
In this sense, I am enabling the possibility to see myself in the reflection of thoughts. And more so, how my experience of life is created by them. Or rather or as well, how I am co-creating the reality of my life based on what thoughts I listen to, entertain, and repeat in my mind. What narratives I BELIEVE and FEED.
And from here, sitting in my chair, away from the motion and turmoil of the moment where I was, I am seeing the thoughts, raw and real on the paper in front of me. And the space of observation and contemplation may evolve and expand itself.
Being Detached
By this detachment from thoughts, I am also removed from the emotional charge that is contained within them. And discharged from this charge, my system calms. Not being involved, I may observe with objectivity and clarity.
Just as it is easier to see “my own faults and unflattering behaviours” in other people. Now standing “outside my former self” and the narrative that was consuming me, I am enabled to see, reflect, and question myself.
The idea and belief that it is all me and ultimate truth diminishes, fades, and begins to lose its power.
And I can ask myself the first great question:
IS THIS REALLY TRUE…?
Soon following Part 2 where I go deeper into “The Transformative Power of Conscious Questioning” and “The Synchronistic Dynamic between Writing & Working in the Earth“
