A Silent Morning of Self-Reflection
On this quiet morning, a voice invites me to pause the pattern — to step out of the routine. What is the message? What is new?
The soothing words of the birds reach my awareness, and I find myself reflecting.
I want to be vital, healthy, wealthy, and strong. I want to create, contribute, and do something meaningful with my days. I yearn for fulfillment and the feeling that my life matters.
I want to be capable and valuable to the world. I want my efforts to add color and light to people’s lives — something of substance that is pulsating with life.
At the same time, I recognize a strong impulse to relax and let go of my old ways — this constant need to somehow advance. Always needing to see results with my human eye in the external realm. Comparing myself with others — how they live, what they do, what they create and what they receive.
I am wondering what I’m doing wrong when I try so hard to do my best, yet things don’t seem to grow and manifest as I desire.
And so Here I Am — in between. Doing my best to align with the current, with the energetic blueprint of my life, feeling that I haven’t allowed myself to properly recover, regenerate, and heal — mentally and physically — from the extremes of the past.
And even though there is a push to advance, I receive the message of slowing down — to listen attentively, accept what is, and allow myself to be with it.
And so this day, instead of beginning with the usual morning practice, I chose to walk with my dogs— recharging as I receive the early rays of light. Returning to my porch, I sink into my rocking chair and share my thoughts with myself — a silent communication that longs to be heard.
…And so here I am. Here I find myself— waking up in the back corners of my mind. Allowing myself to be where I am, in this strange place of transformation. In the middle of all things and in between. At the intersection of realities. Between old conditioning and a new path.
Not knowing what to do, yet still somehow managing to do my best.
Grateful for this process of healing — for the possibility to take it slow. Able to listen and feel, learn and understand myself and my life. Thankful for being in this space of integration.
Most human beings, with everything life demands of them, do not have this opportunity. And in some moments, neither do I. So when I do — like here and now, where I am — I remember to cherish and use it fully.
When we receive work and responsibilities, it is a great gift from life — and moments of rest, integration, and rejuvenation are blessings from the other side as well.
And so we pay attention and learn to align with the subtle movements of ebb and flow, with the cycles of our personal universe.
This process is challenging at times, but I remember that I chose to do this inner work. It is an opportunity given to me by all those who have walked their path before me.
From this platform laid out for me, I am in the blessed position to feel, to be, to let go, and to transcend.
So I continue, paving the way for what is to come.
And to do that, I must enter the below — which I do with courage and faith — always with me is the torch of truth.
And so Here I Am, settled on my porch with the pen in my hand. Thoughts are flowing, perspectives opening. Contemplating and reflecting. Here I Am, dreaming away as I watch the people in the field working with their hands — doing their part, carrying their load.
So what about me? Sitting here, too comfortable to rise. Well, am I not, in a sense, doing my work as well — only in another way? Because as I materialize my thoughts with my hands, I transmute my energy and work with my mind, contemplating life.
Yet the question arises: Will this lead me somewhere, or am I simply wasting time?
Constantly at work in the laboratory of mind.
Continuously connecting to messages divine.
Yet what do I have to show for all the effort I exert?
What am I truly doing with the opportunity of life?
At some point I must leave the comfort of my lair —
itching at my back, emotions of my spine,
the voice of inner light — and so now I choose to rise.
25/04/2025 — Lajune Imox, Comitan de Domínguez, Mexico: Blessed moments of self-reflection. Thank you for listening. All comments are as always warmly received.
Yours Truly / Per Joakim Strandh
