Journaling “Entering into Mastery”: Day 1 – 20th September 2022
Part ONE: Acceptance
In my room at the third floor after a day’s work in the earth and a filling dinner with my beautiful southern northern American family. The tall trees are hovering outside my window with a kind of constant presence. Interestingly and notably there is the bulging shape in the presence of an eye in the stem, which gives the impression of being observed. That “something is there”. With and around me, from a bird’s eye view.
Present but from a distant. Here but outside. With me but not intruding. Protecting without doing nothing.
Today beneath a colourful sun I was cleaning and picking weeds in the enclosure of our future flower garden which lies in between the cornfield and the main house at the other side of the river.
Throughout the day as I was working I found myself in between a state of meditation and presence of the task and alternating into another frequency of resistance. Thinking of different scenarios outside from where I was. Counting the time, wanting to leave, wanting to be done.
And then becoming aware – “catching myself”. Bringing my attention back to the body, to the work and my task. Only to once again recognizing myself half away. Doing the work but with thought energy not aligned.
The Power of Choice
My intention for this period is to integrate the lessons from life and to the best of my ability live and be in a – as much as possible – continuous state of meditation and acceptance.
Accepting where I am and appreciating what is. Acceptance of the things I have chosen and committed to. Like being “HERE” – wherever that may be and entail in this moment. Surrendering to the task and emersed in my current work. By free will and choice.
Because “this” and what is “here” I HAVE CHOSEN. I have asked for. And I have been generously given. There is no one forcing me to be “Here” nor “There” – Except possibly me or a part of me.
I am always free to leave – and go where I “want” to be. If I want. If there is somewhere else I rather be and something more preferable to do. Something that is or feels more aligned with my current passage through time. I can. There is always choice.
It may feel at times as there is none. But in truth it is only me that has locked the doors and looked away. And again it is me who can look around and to the sides and who holds the keys. It is I who have the capacity to decide.
“Consequence”
Though including that if I change the superficial, the deeper layers of my reality alters as well. Wherever I am and chose to be includes many dimensions and parts.
For example, I could go to Sweden and I wouldn’t need to do the specific work – inner and outer – that is here. But I would by consequence receive, do, and live what is there.
And as well with that I would lose all things which is here as well. I would be without the entirety of what this experience and place brings, is, and entails. The family, heart, and spirit that is here. The presence of the place and what it represents in different ways.
There is always a give and take. Every choice brings with it its’ unique order and way of things.
And so in a complete acceptance of “Being Here”. Conscious that it is a choice. My personal choice. There is no space, use, or benefit of second guessing myself or wanting to be somewhere else, as it simply works against “myself and where I am”.
And with that “solidity of acceptance” I am enabling and allowing myself to be brought into a state of SURRENDER of what is and where I am.
Into the current. Into this current encounter with life, as it manifests and expresses in this particular moment. Divinely unique in its precise beauty. Which I can see and experience as I surrender into where I am and appreciate what is.
Letting go of preferences and expectations. Of shoulds and “personal opinions”, which I in fact am not even sure where they come from and for what they serve.
And then the next moment and so on and so forth. May it be a specific task or work, practice or class, conversation or “simply relaxing”. Life may unfold accordingly to an effortless flow. If I allow myself to be let go.
Releasing Resistance – Effortless Flow
And as such as I place “The Intention of Surrender and Free Will” into the life and work that has been generously given to me – which I have chosen, by my asking, receiving, and accepting; self-created obstacles of resistance are removed.
And with that the Self-Caused Suffering that comes with it; caused by the longing, wish, desire, or tendency to “be” somewhere else and experiencing something different from what and where I currently am.
Or rather and in another way of using words, “they are simply not there” – the obstacles and resistance – as they are “merely thoughts”, thus only alive and materialized – dependent – by the specific attention I give them.
And so, if I do not entertain thoughts of wanting to be or be doing something else. If I ignore their potential influence as they knock on the walls of my awareness, and instead immerse myself in the task where I am. Occupied with the deliberate direction of mind and attention. Guided by intention;
They do not gain power over me and unnecessary resistance against “where I am” is not built up.
Said in another way; “Thoughts are merely thoughts and as they are not thought of they are simply not”.
Conscious Choice
And so I make a choice. I decide and go ahead. Radical acceptance and TRUST in my current place and decision. Allowing it to unfold undisturbed as it is. And as such I may receive the fulness of the experience – the encounter of where I am.
And I may discover what this moment and place truly is as I give space to my choice and the experience it may bring.
Because I do not feed thoughts which works against and disturb the beauty and potential of where I am. Which is always here and close by. Always. As I am open, aligned, willing, and CHOSE to see. As I chose to BE.
At the moment when I wrote this original passage it was in regards to my then work and place and all that it involved in the healing space of “Lajune Imox”, in Comitan, Chiapas, Mexico.
Now today it relates to where I am HERE, mentally, physically, emotionally, and energetically, in Oslo, Norway. With my current life and work and situation.
To be healthy and wealthy, vital and strong. To live with direction and devotion in flow and harmony. To be loving towards myself and the world around me. Allowing each moment to be, and as it is unfold into and merge with the next.
For another one who reads these words it may be to provide for one’s family. The loving choice of being a father or mother. A devoted husband or wife. It may be the courageous first step towards a new life of leaving the old and entering something new and novel. Or it may be in the dedication of further – or finally – honouring where one already is and has been for a long time. Now with decision, more direction and true intent. It may be to one’s own health and wealth and to that of others around.
It is personal. It is situational. It is now and current. It is always here for each and one of us. And it always slightly shifts and adapts.
And yes, there is a place to “Dream Ahead”. Another layer of visualizing towards a future possibility that I dream to be real. But that has its moment and that has its way. Not to obstruct what is and interfere with being alive and present here and now.
One does not exclude the other but they integrate and work together. There is a sacred and perfect dynamic between being here and dreaming ahead. Of being aligned so that the future may arrive.
And for now this is my CHOICE. To be where I am. In gratitude and surrender. With love and in appreciation. Dedication to my being and the divine mission I have been given and chosen…
